Your Questions Change the Shape of Your Being
For many years I have untrained myself from having my own questions and walking with them.
With the entrance of school I have been served a plate of questions and predetermined answers to choose from, that had little to nothing to do with the questions my being really longed for. I learned to ask the “right” questions, that the teachers would applaud, but my own questions, that were somewhere laying dormant within me, I buried deeper and deeper until I could not hear them anymore.
Even later when I started my “spiritual search” I was still looking for some school, some teacher or guru to serve me his answers to the questions that I thought was spiritual to have. I was just in the state of consuming answers.
I had all the information in the world available with a swipe of my fingers. Thousands of years of mystic teachings downloadable as a pdf document. But deep down I was numb to the real questions that I have.
I even thought I had found all the answers. I “knew” what consciousness is. I “knew” that realizing my true nature as the never changing awareness in and behind all things is my purpose that solves every suffering.
And with that knowing I ran into a trap. The trap of escaping my own evolution by implanting the answers that others found in my mind.
Even if I experienced some bliss of having no thoughts and being just present through some meditation practice I felt like something was still odd.
Now I realize I actually have not fully been in my 5 bodies yet, I did not fully embody what I am. It was not yet so urgent for me, that I showed up in all my vulnerability to ask the question I have come here to ask.
I avoided the work and the pain of carrying and being a question to life, the painful discomfort of not knowing an answer. I chose to walk the easy way of having a quick answer. And because of that I was not going through the transformation, through the change my being needed to go through to really receive and discover an answer for myself.
Discovering the Power of Questions
When I first entered the spaces of Possibility Management like the Study Group for the Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Book or an online Rage Club, I was shit scared to say anything. I felt like I was in school. I needed to say something smart or pretend to be someone better than I am. I felt afraid to say things that make others dislike me.
Basically I needed to heal from school and get my center back.
One of the core practices in Possibility Management is to keep my energetic center (my attention) within myself, more specific in my physical center 2 fingers below my belly button. Usually in modern culture people get trained to give their center away to authority figures. It’s safe for both parties. The people who give away their center will not get attacked by the authority figure like a teacher and the authority figure is safe because they have the control. That does not work in the PM context. Here people do not want my center. And they don’t want to have all the answers. A sentence I heard again and again is: “This is a great question, I would do you a disservice to answer it. Go find out and experiment for yourself!”
Through making the practice of keeping my center, going through healing processes and uncovering that every hierarchy I am in I made up myself I found trust in my own authority of where I am right now again and that made it possible for me to ask alive and vulnerable questions.
Where I was silent before because I was numb to my questions or maybe too scared or too arrogant to be vulnerable, I discoverd how transformational a question can be. An authentic question that I ask quided by my fear reveals where I am right now and can be a step and a doorway for my evolution or for the evolution of someone else.
And there is another powerful discovery I had about questions.
I can BE a question.
The Questions I am and I am not
No matter if the questions I had came from myself or from society, I always lived a particular set of questions and did not live another set of questions that I might have been able to live as well.
For Example, even back in school I lived the question of “How can I please my teachers?”, or for quite some time in my life I was the question of: “How can I live my life in the most comfortable way so I don’t have to work a lot for a living and benefit from the state’s support?”.
A question I could have lived but did not is: “How can I follow my own interest and what I care about while being in school” , or “ How can can I take responsibility for my financial situation myself to live and grow through being self dependent?”.
You could say the life that my life depends on the questions I am. Being a question doesn’t mean to have thought about the question a few times, but to live my life as an answer to it.
The Questions I am
The stream of my consciousness and my life flow according to the questions that I am. These questions come from one of the “Three Worlds”, the Upper- Middle and Underworld and can be conscious or unconscious, meaning I can be aware of being that question or not.
Upper world questions come from the archetypal realm, from Bright Principles like Love, Clarity and Connection that I can be a vessel for. They could be something like “What does it mean to be an archetypal man?” or “How can I be in service of my archetypal lineage, how can I do what I came to do on earth?”.
Middelworld questions pertain to the everyday world I act in. It can be “How do I earn money?” or ”What am I going to eat today?”
Underworld questions belong to the World that my Gremlin rules. They are the hidden motives serving a set of shadow principles, e.g isolation, competition or being right. “How can I appear to people so they will not trust me with responsibility and if they do fail them?”, or “How can I display my superiority to people to avoid vulnerability and connection?”, are questions that come from my underworld.
The Questions I am not
The questions I am not and could be, lie dormant in my Being. Because I was unaware of the question or had a block to that question (that can be dealt with through an Emotional Healing Process) I did not live that question and did not allow my being to fully come to life.
To find out the question you are not, look at the areas in your life where you have the greatest pain and see what question would you have to live to solve that pain.
For example, I had that pain about being committed to transformational work and being in evolutionary contexts on one hand and then in certain periods of my life just numbing myself out on TV-shows and porn.
For me the question I discovered that I am not and could be is: “How can I live my life in integrity with my intention of being an agent of transformation?”
This question, more clarity about my Gremlin and it’s foods and a dozen emotional healing processes made me able to live more and more in integrity with my purpose and to stop that self-destructive behaviour.
Here are a few experiments for you to find out how your questions shape your being.
Experiments to do
Make two lists:
- Write down the questions that you are right now for each of the 3 worlds. See if you can find questions that you are not aware of in everyday life.
- Write down the questions you are not and could be for each of the 3 worlds. Go nonlinear, come up with things that are outside of your box without being unrealistic.
Go specific!
Look into the main areas of your life like relationship, friendship, work and ask yourself what question you are in these areas. Look into all three worlds for your answers.
Ask for 2 types of feedback:
- Ask your friends or even people you do not know to tell you which questions they can see you are. You will be surprised! If you want, give them the distinction of the 3 Worlds and let them see you through this lense. Write everything down!
- Ask the same people again to tell you what questions you are not and could be. Write it down!
What’s that good for?
Now you hopefully know more about the questions you are and you could be than before. But what does that help?
Being conscious about the questions that govern the flow of your life gives you the possibility to choose.
To choose not to be a certain question anymore or to choose to be a certain question.
Of course it is not just a mental decision to stop being a question you have been for quite some time or to really become a question you have not been before.
There might be emotional healing needed, there might be initiations to go through and matrix to be built (the structure that holds consciousness).
But your transformation starts with your choice.
Choose wildly!
Love
Kian
